Referee Skunk Fight

CJPJ

2008 3500 170"ext. 3.0 V6
Last night 10:45 just got into bed. I hear a skunks quarrel sound from outside, sounds like a cross of baby crying/fingernails on chalk board; I say "Knock it off", ..quiet for little bit then more crying. Again knockitoff and I take a broom handle and from bed knock the wall and tap on window again knock it off: More crying so I light up outside canopy with flashlight .. more fighting. I get up and walk to the other end of the house and hear the fight crying is just outside the back sliding door, turn on the exterior deck light and open the slider. See two skunks, four feet away off the decks edge. They are rolling in a battling ball, crying, biting clawing, I repeat "Knock it off" to no effect. I see a plastic shop vacuum extension with a T end, I get it and go to the skunk ball and press it on them, separating them with a push [thinking what the fuk am I doing] and thinking don't let them aim a tail. Happy they totally ignore me, but they go back at it by the tube and more battling.
I again separate them and hook flip one about 2ft just just out of sight behind a planter. I look at the planters base and there's a black Beatle crawling away in the scratched dirt, thinking the bug is what they are fighting about.
The nearer skunk has turn attention towards me: advances stands and puts two feet and head on the deck, looking in my direction, I put the T with the end a quarter of a inch from his face, .. I can tell from his scanning (andI'm naked) that skunks have very poor eyesight.
They both turn and don't raise a tail and what could be described waddle away.
 
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