Rainbows, Unicorns and Puppy dogs.

Fredtoo

Member
I am interested in the technical aspects of deleting the factory installed Unicorn, and modifying the rainbow to allow its proper functions.

Has anyone made these modifications, and has it has any effect on your puppy dog tails?

:bounce:
 

jmac5058

New member
Would you really do something like that knowing what you would be doing to future generations of puppy dogs.
 

jdcaples

Not Suitable w/220v Gen
I am interested in the technical aspects of deleting the factory installed Unicorn, and modifying the rainbow to allow its proper functions.

Has anyone made these modifications, and has it has any effect on your puppy dog tails?

:bounce:
Please do not delete the US or Canadian Unicorn.

The Unicorn is a safety feature which is integral to keeping ESP and other paranormal Sprinter aspects in check.

If ESP is unbridled, your vehicle may not stop in time to avoid full Rainbow engagement.

Once engaged, the unchecked Rainbow will ferry you off to western OZ where Toto's tail will be at risk of being detached w/o anesthesia. Once a generation, there is a dark Lolly Pop Guild ritual involving dismembered canine tails.

The Wizard of OZ is in Tasmania on holiday for the Winter.

I understand your wanting to use the rainbow feature, but a combination of US/Canadian government involvement in a conspiracy with Daimler AG makes it impossible to get the crystals required to delete Unicorn while keeping ESP in check.


Unless of course you wanna spend $30,000 for a scan tool set of ruby red tires and $7,000 per year to keep the van from self-destructing...... but you probably want it all for free.

-Jon
 

hkpierce

'02 140 Hi BlueBlk Pass
I am interested in the technical aspects of ... modifying the rainbow to allow its proper functions.

Has anyone made these modifications, and has it has any effect on your puppy dog tails?

:bounce:
I thought the rainbow's proper function was a pot of gold.
 

SRT

Hi-Miler
My T1N had no factory installed unicorn, and the puppy dog tail emissions measured zero particulates when sniffed by the Metro Nashville puppy dog tail-smellers at 420K miles. At 500K miles, the puppy dog tail emissions measured 1.5 out of an allowable 10.

I own 2 NCV3s, one of which has a clogged unicorn. New unicorns are very expensive, and; as proven by the cleanliness of my T1N puppy tail emissions; are not effective. On the contrary, unicorns were the reason that Mercedes was forced to increase the size of the fairy-dust dispensers from 2.7 liters to 3.0 liters in order to maintain the same performance.

This increase in fairy-dust dispenser volume means that for ever revolution of every Mercedes fairy-dust dispenser in an NCV3; worldwide; there is an increase in the volume of fairy-dust of .3 liters. This being the case, a 3.0 fairy-dust dispenser; driven at an average RPM of 2000 per mile over it's (questionable) lifespan of 300K miles equals an increase of 180,000,000 liters of fairy-dust over the T1N engine which has no unicorn.

If a unicorn is removed from a fairy-dust dispenser and results in an increase of only 1 MPG over the same lifespan, it would result in a overall decrease in liquified dinosaur use to the tune of nearly 1000 gallons over that same 300K miles. 2 MPG = 2,000 gallons, 3 MPG equals 3,000 gallons, etc. You get the picture. A gallon of UNburned liquified dinosaur has been found to produce ZERO emissions, thus making the unicorn-free fairy-dust dispenser more puppy tail friendly over the course of it's lifespan.

My dealer wants $3800 for a new unicorn, which currently has a broken horn or something, I guess - as my fairy-dust dispenser won't allow my NCV3 to go over 20 MPH. In the real world, I can find fairy-dust dispensers that are far less expensive to maintain. Although they are older and produce more fairy-dust than my current unicorn-equipped dispenser, I can buy a lot of liquified dinosaur for that same $3800.

By the way, the 500 cubic-inch fairy-dust dispenser in my '69 Barracuda uses a LOT of liquified dinosaur and has higher puppy-tail emissions due to mere evaporation of liquified dinosaur when SITTING IN MY GARAGE with the ignition OFF than those produced by a T1N without a unicorn, merely due to the fact that modern liquified dinosaur tank caps have a tighter seal than those in an older fairy-dust dispenser. We've come a long way.

Unicorns; along with the mercury-laden CF starlight beams; are perfect examples of Kings and Queens taking extreme, uneducated measures, resulting in unintended consequences that defeat the ultimate goal of clean rainbows for everybody.
 

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